I’m down on my knees
Trying to believe God sees
Past the clenched fists to the sobbing heart
Past the clenched jaw to the words that tear me apart
Words that won’t let go.
They dig their claws into the sides of my throat
Stacking up on each other till I’m sure I’m going to blow.
Feelings all locked up with unspoken words on guard
Making the softening heart turn hard.
The mocking voices hissing in my head
Telling me to give it up.
God doesn’t want to hear me so just STOP –
Stop trying to get close to God.
He’s never going to want me too near.
He’s not interested in my tears.
Silent sobs drowning out the words
Words that finally come but sound so empty.
God, why do You look away from me?
Where are You, God?
I’m sinking fast don’t You see?
I’m lost and all alone
Screams trapped inside me
Satan’s minions circling
Teeth bared, eyes gleaming
Ready to tie me up and carry me off
Off to a hell of my own making
Off to a place so dark I’ll never see the light of day
Off to a place so far from You I fear I’ll never find my voice.
God I need You now more than ever, can’t You tell?
My soul’s weary of being Satan’s easy sell.
God, please stoop down and make Yourself known.
Reach Your hand into mine and tell me You’ve heard my heart all along.