"When I Cry"

When I Cry by Gaither Vocal Band
"Makin' a list of all of the good things you've done for me.
Lord, I've never been one to complain.
But, right now I'm lost, and I can't find my way.
My world's come apart, and it's breakin' my heart.
But it helps to know; that your heart is breaking too.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
'Cause nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry.

Alone in the dark, face in my hands cryin' out to You.
Lord, there's never been a time in my life,
There's so much at stake, there's so much to lose.
But I trust it to You. You'll bring me through.
And it helps me to know that I'm not alone.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
'Cause nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry.

You're the one who calmed the raging sea.
You're the one who made the blind to see.
You looked through all of heaven and eternity,
And through it all you saw me.

When I cry, You cry. When I hurt, You hurt.
When I've lost someone, it takes a piece of You too.
And when I fall on my face, You fill me with grace.
Nothing breaks Your heart, or tears You apart
Like when I cry."

I just heard this song this morning and it was like salve to my slashed-up heart. 
The thought that God does care when my heart is bleeding & my soul is weeping.
 
This grief thing, it's totally unpredictable.  I'm never sure where on the spectrum
I will be.  About the time that I think I'm learning to be "okay" with the huge hole 
that my Dad left, the debilitating pain comes back and I feel like there's just
no way to go on with life.  Some days are just more bearable than others I guess.

The valley of grief can sometimes be a murky, lonely darkness.  Even though I 
know God is there with me, it's hard to remember that when the loss is so 
poignant.  It's in times like this, that I wish I could literally crawl up on God's 
lap and feel Him holding His hurting, little girl close to His heart.  This is where
my faith becomes necessary - so that Satan can't persuade me that God could
care less and has abandoned me in this dark valley.

As someone reminded me the other week, God knows exactly what it's like to
lose a dearly beloved to an awful death.  And He knows what it feels like to
watch a loved one suffer to death.  I hadn't really thought about it that way
before.  The mind-boggling thing is though that God volunteered to allow
His beloved Son to go through that.  And His radical love for us unlovely 
sinners restrained Him from rushing in and reversing the whole painful plan of 
salvation.  Thank You, God my Father, and Jesus, my Redeemer!
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