Dec 28 2011

And here begins a new adventure for me – my attempts to write about my life experiences and the many thoughts that rattle around in my brain and their effect on my heart and life.

With the year drawing to a close, I have been ruminating on the events of the past year and how they’ve shaken me to my core and brought me to a point where I had to choose whether I was going trust God completely or lose my faith in Him.

My Dad had a tree trimming accident the end of October and after many weeks of emotional ups and downs and numerous uncertainties, he passed away on November 17.  That month was the worst month of my life and releasing him into God’s hands was the toughest battle I’ve had in my Christian life.  He left behind a huge hole in my heart and his presence is sorely missed daily.  The journey of the loss of a loved one is long, hard, and oft-times dark but with the help of God and others I am determined to walk towards the light.

Someone has said, “Joy is not the absence of Sorrow but Joy is the Presence of Christ in your Sorrow.”

Jesus, the Man of Sorrows, longs for us to have a child-like trust in Him and take all of our hurts to Him.  He wants to bear them for us.  It’s not going to erase our grief, it’s going to lighten the intense load of grief if we share it with Him.  Let Him walk beside you and bear the brunt of the load.  It will ease your sorrow to the point where you will feel like facing the pressures of the day.

There are two reactions to grief – soft heart or hard heart.  The last couple weeks I’ve tried taking the hard heart approach: bar your heart from the love of God and the love of others in a vain attempt to protect your already battered heart; cram your tears back into a pressure-sealed jar and refuse to admit your emotions to yourself much less to God; allow the pain to fuel you with anger and drive your existence with bitterness.  I’m telling you folks, it isn’t worth it.  It only succeeds in making you more bitter and utterly miserable in your own little barricaded fort.

Jesus hand-delivers the package of Love from God and stands at the fort entrance patiently knocking.  I urge you don’t wait to invite Him in.  Yes, cataloging your pain and emotions with Jesus is like scraping the scab off of your fresh wound but the difference is you’re no longer trying to deal with it on your own – you now have the Master Healer with you gently applying balm on your lacerated heart.

Having a soft heart amidst your grief means being open to other’s encouragements and guidance and being willing to allow your emotions to glide down your cheeks in rivers of hurt and grief.  Perhaps those walking with you on your journey have never been there personally so they don’t know what they’re talking about sometimes but be forbearing and allow them to walk with you through the valley instead of shoving them away.  Shoving away the people who care about you leads to shoving Jesus away.

Jesus says, “I have come to bind up the brokenhearted.”
In Job 5:18 we are reminded that God wounds but He binds up; He shatters but His hands heal.
There is hope for your grief-laden heart but it is a journey and you need to stick with Jesus and hang tight to His hand because the way is going to be dark and rocky and slippery at times.  There is no time limit on reaching the other side of the valley of grief – as long as you are inviting Jesus to walk with you through it all, He will bring healing.

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6 thoughts on “Dec 28 2011

  1. Wow, Sara! I'm proud of you for taking this step. There is honestly nothing like getting out of your comfort zone, eh? And you will most likely end up enjoying it. As much as the rest of us mayhap. 🙂 God's richest blessings on your dear life always, my friend!
    ~Juli

  2. Hey Sara, I want you to know that I'm praying for you, LOTS! God has a reason for everything….I know we dont always understand why…Keep your head up girl, and God bless you as you plug along through your schooling! Not always easy…Do your best, and let God do the rest!

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